India to many people is a complex country. Such a multitude of people and cultures all around confuses them. But to lovers it is definitely the most confusing country in the world. In India a couple can’t just love each other if they want to and stay together. There is often a plethora of people and situations they have to think about.
Even before falling in love people start to calculate different factors that will crop up in the future. Religion? Check. Caste? Check. Gotra(sub-caste)? Check. Educational background? Check. Family background? Check. Language? Check. Looks(Girls should be fair)? Check. After all these checks are done one has to still talk to the family? EEEEEESSSHHH!!!!! Now that is a really big list, isn’t it? And looking at it again there are no factors over which any couple has any control. All the factors are depended on fate.
Yet these factors are often more important than the question that whether the couple to be like each other or not? It is not uncommon to hear the news of couples being forced to separate due to parents’ wishes. Even people as young as 16 or 17 are found going through this checklist if they fall in for somebody. Why is it so? Why as a society can’t we accept that if two people like each other genuinely and that if they are emotionally fit for each other we allow them to be? Why do these external factors over which we have no control be deciders as to whether a relationship can go all the way or not?
It is true that sometimes people make wrong choices in the heat of love but those wrong choices cannot be attributed to factors over which people have no control. In this age where information is breaking all barriers and communication is pan-global does it make sense to be burdened by such factors and lists over which we have no command? Why can’t two people be allowed to enjoy the pleasures of the most beautiful feeling in this world without attaching riders?
This question is today posed at the Indian society in general. Till we can’t answer it let us go through the list:
Religion
Caste
Sub-Caste
Gotra
Region
Mother tongue
Family background
Education
Looks
Last and sometimes the least, whether the girl and boy like each other or not?
Lonely Ronin 
priyank
December 12, 2012
first hand experience – it is really complex thing in India to love and marry. All those familial, cultural, societal, economic.. factors leave people with a frustration that most opt for arranged marriages. Had it not been a strict patriarchal society with women totally dominated by the men, the divorce rate would have been twice that of US. But women are not economically independent and generally bear 2 children in first 3 years of marriage which leaves her with no choice but to stick to whatever deal she has got.
Lonely Ronin
December 12, 2012
Well post marriage is something I have not pondered on. But the fact remains that enjoying the purity and pleasure of love is not possible in India. People actually chose arrange marriage cause of these reasons.
dramajunkie666
December 12, 2012
I agree 100%
India will never learn it seems.
Lonely Ronin
December 12, 2012
Even if our seniors didn’t, hopefully we can 🙂
Adiadzz
December 13, 2012
Could relate to it…… The problem lies in the Heterogeneity of our society at large, till the time comes for homogeneity we really cant help it……. We are sugar in water just need to be stirred…..
kai
December 13, 2012
much longer and harder checklist to accomplish i bet when it’s between an indian and non-indian. 😦
Lonely Ronin
December 13, 2012
Oh then its a definite no….because bollywood has painted all foreigners as promiscuous. 😦
nyctanthesarbortristis
January 8, 2013
aha! parents are searching and the ‘HEART and PULSE’ did not sort out the Miss Right 🙂
Lonely Ronin
January 8, 2013
Yup! That’ how it its
thefoolishgenius
February 14, 2013
A beautiful perspective on the issue alas a sad truth and a curse..
Lonely Ronin
February 14, 2013
Yes! This curse has ruined a lot many lives.